In a recent episode of “The Human Upgrade” podcast’s Sexual Energy Series, host Dave Asprey spoke with holistic sex and relationship coach Kim Anami about her mission to help people feel good — emotionally, spiritually, and sexually. Anami talked about how the idea for her online courses started as a way to exchange ideas and share information about sex in person in a relaxed environment. Over time, this birthed the concept of her Sexual Savant Salons, where people could learn and exchange ideas in an online sex education school.
Anami said her journey as a sex coach stemmed from her personal experience with intimacy, which left her feeling energized. “I would emerge out of my sexual encounters feeling really inspired and more of myself. I use the term self-realization. That’s how I felt. It’s like these parts of me that have been superimposed culturally that weren’t really me, that I’d adapted over the years—they fell away.” She realized sex was more potent than she’d been led to believe.
One of Anami’s main focuses in her teachings is the circulation of healthy energy, which she says is often lost for men through orgasm and women through menstruation. She argues that sex should leave people feeling energized instead of drained. Anami said this depletion of energy also affects other areas of life. “Most people don’t make that connection because they’ve been taught there is no connection. Your sex life kind of exists in isolation in some remote part of your life and has no influence on anything else that you do.”
‘Transformative Cosmic Places’
Anami encourages people to focus on their breathing to create good energy, which can come from different types of orgasms. “Seeking out these deeper vaginal orgasms opens them up to much more cataclysmic, deep, powerful, transformative cosmic places within themselves,” she said on the podcast. Through coaching and practice, Kim Anami declared that every person is capable of having meaningful sex that gives them energy beyond the immediate orgasm. “They just need to know that they can and then learn the steps to getting there and remove any kind of blockages that are impeding the natural flow of that innate energy that we all have.”
Anami said she strongly associates sex with spirituality. Everyone has the ability to access spiritual energy through sex but Anami argues cultural conditioning has distanced people from that power. “All of the censorship and the misinformation about sex has removed that knowledge from people and that even awareness from people. And the high amount of trauma that most people sustain in some way obscures and disassociates them from that energy,” she said.
Inhabiting Feminine Energy
Anami said women can find their sexual energy through their feminity. She told Asprey, “Most women, myself included, from a young age, got the kind of messaging that in order to be successful in a man’s world, we would have to adopt male characteristics. We would have to kind of put on the same energy and drive, and appearance even, as men to be successful.” She argues that women inhabiting their feminine energy can be even more successful — and that’s a lesson that carries over into the bedroom.
Part of having that feminine energy is getting to know one’s body, which Anami said is a process disrupted by things like hormonal birth control. “This idea of sexual self-knowledge and awareness, and it’s really empowering for women, they get to know their own cycles. The whole period cycle is a beautiful teacher for women and they’re being deprived of all of that. We’re just saying no, we’ll erase that.”
Anami strives to help people understand what it means to have “gourmet sex,” which isn’t just physically satisfying, but also physically and emotionally fulfilling. “If we go off the messaging of the general population in media and advertising, and pop songs, and rap songs, we’d get a certain vision of what sex is, which I think does it such a disservice,” she said. “And that’s why I say the most important thing is really showing people what sex can do for them that they just didn’t even really think of.”